One of my very first acting teachers paid me a compliment when we reconnected after 20 years:  "You could make a career playing Bloody Mary" [in SOUTH PACIFIC]. I've been considered for the role many times but have only played her twice.  I do love the role:  She's naughty and fierce and wily and secretly desperate.  She tells the story of many an immigrant business-person who hustles and wants a better life for their kids.  She chews betel nuts, a stimulant, which turns her teeth red and black - she's a chain chewer.  And I pull from my own mother and great aunts, who were chain-smokers, when I play her.  I yearn to bring more depth to the role.  I even yearn to see and hear a petite woman in the role, the way that James A. Michener describes her in his novel, the way that this woman would likely have been as an immigrant of Vietnam. 

 

The comment bothered me at some point and I've learned some lessons from it:  1) The biznich makes fast decisions and I can either deal with it or let it get the best of me.  2)  I'm a big woman with a big voice and a big laugh and I can either own it or let it limit me.  3) I'm so much more than Bloody Mary and more than just a big girl...unless, of course, the feature that Bob Balaban is producing gets a green light and I get cast...then, what the heck - whatever to any of it - bring it on! 

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So, I'm here for it...I'm here to be BIG and to celebrate my size, outside and IN.  I'm big and I'm proud. ★

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